Blue

Saturday night, fun & frolic, party time, good food, good times; but am not quite right there. Looking around the colors are way too bright and the music too loud to be comfortable. A feeling of helplessness and utter despondency.



15 minutes back:

Whoaa, finally the long six day week has come to an end to give me enough time to get ready for another week of drill. But all that can wait, as John Travolta made famous, "Its Saturday night, baby". So the bunch of us have come to hang out at this suave bistro and tickle our taste buds. But, so have other hoards of them who were far-sighted to make some reservations. And there we were, waiting at the doorsteps, hoping that some poor soul won't be able to make it in time. Yeah , yeah a breed of selfish corporates we are.

But right when we'r discussing Aamir's hairstyle and a lucrative sale going on, there was a small tug at the T. I looked around to find a kid, no older than 3 years, with barely a piece of rag on her, asking for alms. The hair was all wiry and a coat of filth was all over her face. But I just couldn't tear myself off from that accusing gaze pleading for rescue, pleading to be loved. The trampled, mutilated innocence crying for an explanation. A toddler forced to grow up beyond her years, never knowing how it feels to sleep in a lap with a full stomach and lullaby playing in your ears. Always puzzled by this crude irony and what she did, to deserve this. Maybe she's too numb to feel the difference anymore, maybe she's accepted it. But when another kid stepping out of the restaurent door throws away the ice-cream, because it didn't had enough choclate, she might just ask "Why me, not her ?" or maybe she'll just run to scoop up the thrownaway.


She's still looking at me with her arms stretched a bit impatiently, wondering whether its time for her to move on. Somebody started pulling me and the contact broke, and she ran off hoping that the next person will be a generous one.



Inside :

The music is playing. Platters of food and glasses of mocktails just jostling for table space. People laughing, talking.

"What will she eat tonight ?"

The heart has been shattered into million little pieces, its irreparable.

So with the broken pieces of my heart I have made this beautiful kaleidoscope.

I now marvel at the myriad hues of life as they dazzle my eyes every time I look through it.

Apology

Initially you'll be angry and may even start despising me, then you'll start wondering WHY, and then if you had known me better you'll understand and gradually everything will just fade away.


I can only say SORRY at this moment and if possible bear with me.

Sunset

Few days back I had an evening flight from Chennai to Kolkatta. It was a clear day and when the flight took off the sun was going down. I had a window seat and had a clear view of the beautiful expanse spread out over the horizon. The sky is big, infinite, but once up there, it's almost like it can be touched; maybe if we walk long enough we'll reach the other end.

The sky had worn a pale turquoise gown splashed with white, spreading itself over the velvety-indigo waters of Indian Ocean. The smoky, ethereal clouds were just sailing smoothly, suspended in the beauty of the dusk. It was like looking at a vast field of cotton-soft snow sprayed out like surfs on wave. The Sun was an orange ball slowly sliding down behind the cover of clouds, adding a purple-orange hue to their snow-white complexion. It looked like a patch of the sky was smoldering among that vast serenity. The rapid change of colors was so brilliant that I was mesmerized by it all. It was the canvass of a brilliant, eccentric artist who was just splashing the fabric with a riot of colors. The blue was dripping into the golden-orange, spread over a dash of white. The hypnotizing watercolors were mixing up creating one masterpiece after another. After a while it settled down and the horizon lit up with a orange-red glow as if set on fire. I couldn't take my eyes off that infinity of space and water which was clearly separated in two halves by a boundary of smoldering embers.

Gradually the display of colors mellowed and soon everything was covered in a luminous coat of black starry night. It was almost time to land and as the flight was cruising down, the city beneath us looked like a field of brilliantly sparkling diamonds; the ground was scattered with jewels, shining and shimmering. It was the befitting climax to the perfect sunset. Within a few moments the flight touched down into reality.

RED

I have to admit that I'm cursed with a very volatile temper, which just starts boiling at the slightest provocation. My old man always say "People get angry only when they are deprived of what they want". There can't be any simpler explanation for our anger. But this anger has become a necessity in the "Country of NO" , where being angry gives you an upper-hand when it comes to face the ire of a mob who's tired and frustrated of fighting a losing battle against the everyday social evils. Somehow it just gives you the jagged edge of a popular "YOUNG ANGRY MAN" image.


Often the discontent just seethes below the surface just waiting to erupt into a rage. The outbursts maybe far and in-between, but when it does, there's no holding back to the monster let loose on a rampage. It just destroys everything that comes its way. It seems like a crimson haze has veiled the vision and the only way out is to resort to a violent outburst. Its just so scary when you think of it on the hindsight. But like a bullet fired, we can only helplessly regret our actions once done.


Its been a long and arduous struggle to control the beast within. Wise men say that if you can control and cultivate your anger then there's no weapon more powerful than a calm man's wrath.